I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
