he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dick very happy bro
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
