You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
