the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
