I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
