just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
vagina is talking i cant
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
