Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
