Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
