I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
