I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
