Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
