The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
