If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
