we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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