i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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