You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
