i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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