i think my tv is drunk
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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