Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
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