I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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