I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
