what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
