He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
