you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you told grandpa to call you daddy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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