He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
