At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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