What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
