i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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