After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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