Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
