i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
