just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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