Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
