big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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