I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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