I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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