I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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