i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
