i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
