just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
