you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
