I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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