is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am midnight drunk by noon
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
