oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
this hospital has no fireball
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
