I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
