Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
