My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
