this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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