This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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