First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
