he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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