My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
