Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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