I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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