apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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